Hide and Seek!

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Today we all have a bad habit of hiding our feelings from the people whom we are close to. This is where we start to mess things up. But this is not the only issue we all face. We hide our feelings from our close ones and yet expect them to understand us, without we telling them what is going on in our mind. I agree, but does it really work this way?

As a kid, we end up doing some things that are not to be done at that particular age, but somehow we end up doing it. Eventually, we have a bag of mixed feelings. On one hand, feeling an accomplishment that none other kid has achieved what you have. On the other, fear of not letting parents have any knowledge of our mischief. So in the fear of how our parents will react, we start hiding things from parents. To save ourselves from the scare of our parent’s reaction, we hide our joyous accomplishment. This is just one feeling, this is how and where things start to build and hiding of our emotions.

Then, as you grow, you hit puberty and start falling for that adorable girl in your class or the cute guy next door. We talk to them with butterflies in our stomach but never dare to express our feelings in the panic/hesitation of hearing a ‘No’ from that person.

Let’s jump a few years when we are reasonably adult, in our mid-20s, trying to gather all our stuff in a perfect manner in which we have secretly dreamed off. Also somehow things are working in proper synchronisation as we expected over the years but then again coming to camouflaging our feelings, the close friend for whom you had fallen for eventually and dreamt of having a life together, we do not express ourselves fearing to lose that beautiful friendship.

We don’t share the disagreement in front of our boss and be his pet to save the job and gain extra bonus at the end of the year. We start hiding our feelings to our siblings in making them happy enough while struggling with our own mess.

So, next time try to be expressive to the people you care the most for and even make them comfortable to express. Because everyone’s heart somewhere wants to sing along this music piece.

If you love me, don’t let go
If you love me, don’t let go

Hold
Hold on
Hold on to me
‘Cause I’m a little unsteady
A little unsteady

Unsteady by X Ambassadors

Peace! ~ αm

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Me and My Shadow | 4

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Previously on Me and My Shadow

The Blueprint

Maya had a handful of thoughts running in her mind with the pen drive which Tej gave her back when they had their beautiful lunch. Even though she had the pen drive with her it was kinda difficult for her to open see it as she was scared that the data in it would have meant something really different than what she was expecting.

She didn’t try taking a look at what is inside but used to just mingle around with thoughts. Many times she even plugged in but did not have gut’s open it. Maya herself was shocked by her own behaviour regarding such simple thing.

She looked at herself in the mirror decided to simply put the thoughts aside and concentrate on the thing which she wants to do in her life. She decides to give a final thought on how she will ask for the permission from her Dad regarding the factory which they owned but is currently shut down. She has few ideas which are running in for that place, she is looking forward to making it in something exclusive so that she can concentrate on the dream she is chasing for.

Maya finally gathers all the courage and leaves for her Dad’s Office. As she arrives read the huge name on entrance “Maya’s Dune Resort”. And she started to get those extra privilege services after all this resort was her own, she was the owner of this magnificent hotel. After getting into the hotel every staff member was greeting her with all the amenable gesture and finally she reaches her Dad’s office and as usual, he was busy in managing something, and why won’t be busy 31st December celebrations were on adjacent week itself.

Seeing her daughter waiting for him, he freezes all his work and calls her in. He was happy thinking that Maya was ready to join him in hotel business line but he didn’t recognise she was here to ask him something.

“Dad, I need a small favour from you?” Maya, asks him.

“Yes, tell me.” He answered.

“I know you won’t be keen what I am asking for but can you let me use our factory?”

“Umm, can I know the reason for the use?” His happiness suddenly disappears as her daughter has asked him this same question before she left the house.

“Sure Dad, and I assure this time I won’t leave the house even if you reject my proposal. I want my working space, Dad. For doing all my stuff like designing, my small research and development lab kind of thing, and need to start filling my paper works for all this work too.” Maya answered.

After a short silence between them, he finally agreed to Maya and said, “OK. You can use the factory for any use you want but assure me you won’t take any wrong step this time.”

“Dad, I’m going to fit security cameras as I’m looking for expensive equipment in R&D lab, if you want you can take a feed at your office too. It will be a bonus for the security of equipment and as well as you will be assured of actions.” Maya tried to assure her dad this time she is full of energy and at the same time isn’t looking for trouble.

“Done. I trust you my love but…” quickly replied her Dad but had a little trouble telling his views about her concern. “Yeah Dad, I know what you mean to say I’m giving you the complete picture of what I am doing, I’ve lost your trust and I’ll regain it in a rightful manner.” Maya knew what she was doing so it was easier for her to give that confidence to her Dad.

After both of them agreeing on the terms they discussed, Maya was full of joy and had decided to call up the equipment manufacturer for her little lab and headed to a furniture store and computer to get her all the things she needed. The joy of getting her dad’s approval was way too much then she had expected.

That whole day Maya was out ordering several things from her new place of work. Later at night when she came home her father saw the happiness of Maya making him realise that it was correct decision that he took for factory this time. In the following days, Maya was pretty much occupied in the setting up of the place, she wanted to start the actual work from the New Year, giving her life a new start. All this time she was having the blueprints of the work in her thoughts but now it was coming up true.

In the meanwhile Tej was not sure what was going on with Maya she was not in contact with him. Tej assumed that the project he shared was the reason behind Maya disconnection with him. It was until Tej got more upset when Maya called him up on Monday afternoon to confirm things regarding the class they were having that evening, she spoke about the class but didn’t spoke a word regarding the pen drive.

In reality, Maya had forgotten about the pen drive altogether in her own happiness. When they met before class that day Tej understood that something great has happened with Maya just by the glow on her face. Soon, Maya told Tej about all the things which happened in the last couple of days. Tej’s heart sank as Maya did not pull up the topic of his project but at the same time he was happy about the happiness of Maya.

It was just 2 days left before 31st December so Tej was occupied a lot at the hotel still Maya insisted him to come to the factory for seeing the blueprint turned into the reality of Maya’s small dream. When Tej visited the place with Maya, he no longer could control the ignorance he was having regarding the things which he had in his mind, so Tej asked her “Maya, did you go through the pen drive?” after this question Maya realised that she altogether forgot about the pen drive. She apologised for the ignorance but Tej seem to be off the mood now so he asks Maya to give back the pen drive and Tej soon leaves after collecting the pen drive.

“Tej! Tej! Stop!” yelled Maya as she saw him walk out of the factory door. “Give me the pen drive, I’ll go through it right away.”

But her requests went unheard, Tej had already left!

Maya knew that she had disappointed the only person who actually cared about her. She even knew that she really had to do something to make it up to him. New years’ eve wouldn’t be complete without him. She stood leaning on the door thinking as to what had to be done next.

She obviously wanted to know Tej’s plan but first she had to get her friend back!

Peace! ~ αm ft. @365days365stories

Attraction? Love? Lust?

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We all have a day or other where we will be having or have a connection with a person of the opposite sex. But what was the connection really? Of Love? Lust? Or Attraction?

ATTRACTION.

This happens to any active person at least most of the time in the day. So that awesome looking guy who has the girl’s class or on the hot girl just passed by the man who gets the woos! But sometimes this attraction is not just temporary but more intense than the usual one, where we are seeking to gain the full attention of the other one and turn our attraction into love or something more concrete. We chat, talk, and stalk to gather each and every piece of information of the person so that we succeed in every single way having the hardest battle to fight for converting that Attraction into Love. But at the same time, this could be the worst phase where we try to get the best result out of our hard work to get that particular person’s whole and sole attention and love, we may end up being into some other soup altogether and making us doubt ourselves. But this should be a good point for us that we have received a rejection but this most of the times result into sadness making it undesirable for ourselves and for any others. But many take it in a positive way and try to keep improving them continuously.

LUST.

On lust, endless words are shared, this is more sort of a feeling mixed with your physical desires but just being libidinous is not essential for an actual relationship, it’s more than that. An understanding of that particular necessity of a human being. Most of the people are really shy to open on the lust side thinking what all labels would be attached to their name because at the end of the day our name is the only thing which we care about rather our feelings. I certainly feel that one should not hide our lust but at the same time should know certain limit till one share those feelings because we are not on earth to keep screwing around people for it. Rather the impression should be made so special that one does feel completed after sharing the bodies and getting a sense of completeness altogether.

For any particular person, it should be the last piece of all the jigsaws, but I’ve beheld certain stories where this was the stage before the feeling of attraction drops, just because the situation they are fallen into and stories do have a happy ending. Yeah, this cannot actually happen to each one of us, but it does happen.

LOVE.

It’s time to drop that essential light on the road which lies between Attraction and Love. “Love at first sight” this is the worst line I’ve ever come across because it should be said “Attraction at first sight” no one can fall in love just by a single sight it requires a certain period of time after which we start loving the person. So what’s love then? It’s a mixed feeling for sure in which we are attracted to the person as well we have a different type of attraction and lust level altogether. It’s a feeling which makes smile at any given time or situation. It is just that feeling where we know “everything gonna be alright” if you think that person is there in your life. One can portrait love in continuous fashion. Certainly one can only feel it perfect as per their definition of love, but the simple definition can be applied to everyone’s definition that’s “Happiness”.

When this happiness is achieved one will be forever attracted to that person and at the same time will have great satisfaction in the lust they share for each other.

By now you must be thinking what the big picture is in all this? The answer is we all are stuck in a situation where we believe our lust is our love, we are trying to fool ourselves into thinking that the physical satisfaction we are getting is the actual definition of love which ain’t the reason of our love. Our hormonal changes lead to some different ball game altogether. We are attracted to someone and then we directly jump to a later stage of lust and think we are in love, but that isn’t true we only satisfy our physical needs rather our emotional needs, making our lives more complicated than what we really have. Giving our physical require more curb than our emotional one leads to many deteriorations in one’s life.

The frequency of the one changing partners is way too crazy nowadays making it hard for us to really understand our feelings and making every other feeling tangled into these feelings. These three emotions carry one of the feelings together along the side of it, that’s “Caring“. Caring is the supporting actor in all these three movies of our feeling. Without that care, none of the feelings can really be successful each in their own perspective.

So next time when you are attracted don’t directly jump to final need, first be attracted fall in love with person’s minutiae then complete yourselves with the lust in a genuine way rather than to show off in your fraudulent social life which just a virtual space with no base.

“Love consists of this: two solitudes that meet, protect and greet each other” – Rainer Maria Rilke

PEACE! ~ αm

Why Teenagers Use Abusive Words So Frequently?

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The other day I was walking down in our department and a friend of mine came up to me and started abusing me for the incident which happened earlier that morning. While this dramatic incident was taking place, one of our department’s senior professor came into the picture, hearing the high altitude abusive words made ma’am shell shock, and instead of further saying anything to my friend she passed by, making it clear that he was going get into big trouble.

After this incident I approached a close buddy (The Writer) of mine who is high-class abuser and I straight away asked him “Why do you use abusive words all the time?” as we are close friends he answered me positively, his answer was simply genuine one (but yet I felt it was not convincing ) and left me thinking ‘What about others?’ Later, thinking about the question and incident I got involved into, we both started to dive deep into the topic to get the reason behind this attitude of current generation. Both of us put on our thinking caps on and started to do some study over the young generation which included guys and girls as well.

While our think tanks were working to get an answer, we simultaneously did a quick survey with our friends in and around our life who use cuss word as well as who don’t. The survey was leading us to some realisation of bad part of our life which was shocking. But we were happy, only for one reason that our thinking and the quick survey was leading to similar answers. The answer concluding that the cuss words are being used mostly casually (yes casually!!! Even we were shocked over it), under frustration (yeah, yeah we know frustration brings out the devil out of us), while one is angry and the most shocking concluding answer was, for gaining “the cool quotient” (What the Fish? For getting fame frame they abuse, that’s shell shocking). While none of the concluding was a reasonable reason, we would just say it’s just a “daag” (bad spot) on the image of current generation.

Most of the abusive words used are of our National Language which mostly recalls the “Mother” and “Sister” of the gainer, now just translate them into English those cuss words will be used by the people who follow the Western Culture more than that of the Indian Culture. If we have a look at our grandparents’ generation, we may realise that using words in the past like ‘Idiot, Stupid, Fool, Donkey and much others’ which are used up by the current generations’ tiny tots which indicated that how advance our generation has become in the field of giving the cuss words.

Most of our current generation feel that the previous generation was just too much reserved over using cuss words, but if we need to give an appropriate thought over it, it is that they were more sophisticated people than the current youth generation. Somewhere or the other we should understand ourselves and start controlling ourselves over the frequency of the cuss words we are using. Not for ourselves but for respect and dignity of the previous generation and for proper moulding of the future generation.

P.S.: One of the writers is himself a serial abuser and the second behaves sophisticated in front of the girls only.

PEACE! ~ αm (ft. sv)