I Never Knew.


I never knew that proposing someone was so essential.

I never knew that saying “I Love You” was so essential.

I never knew that not keeping expectation was so essential.

I never knew that the words I believed which were asking me to stay forever can be fake.

I never knew when helping out, will be having all the fake reasons in the world.

I never knew hugging a person really close was not enough.

I never knew kissing those soft lips passionately with a surprise was not enough.

I never knew giving all the time from the busy schedule was not enough.

I never knew giving all the freedom except certain was not enough.

I never knew involving a person in my family was not enough.

I never knew giving endless chances was not enough.

I never knew a girl cries over marriage rejection so that guy can propose her.

I never knew saying things in anger meant the reality.

I never knew keeping my issues aside while listening to your was not enough.

I never knew only one person has to be in all the efforts for maintaining the relation, the other will act only after they been said to do so.

I never knew I could fall for a girl who completely opposite of what I was expecting from a soul mate.

I never knew saying “No” to someones needs is important to save our self worth.

I just simply never knew…

Peace! ~ αm

(P.S.: This poem was written a year ago when things got shattered in blogger’s life. But he never published it to the public, he kept it password protected but now I am sharing it because the poem is really lovely as I hope you love it too. Regards, V.)


The 2nd Ranker


Sorry for writing so late, you know how much mess I am in right now.

So, finally, the last piece of domino has collapsed. People I met in Mumbai, the reason I found this city to be sustainable has scattered.

First Lee took the diversion in 2015.
Then Vichu in 2016.
Last year my ex.
And this year, finally the nail in the coffin you Dubey.

I still remember my first interaction with you, as I pissed you off and you left in all the anger. Yeah, I know you don’t remember this incident but I am very well aware of it as well as Vichu is (That’s my curse and a boon in many factors, of having great memories stored in the brain.) The funny part has we hardly had interactions with you while we were in College. Your first visit at Nasik is where things turned for us and the bond grew from there.

WhatsApp Image 2018-07-03 at 6.48.05 PM

You teaching me a few crazy subjects while wrapping up the things in engineering as well as showing me how to be in love with Money and not being greedy for it. I owe you for these two things that I have learnt from you.

Of course, going out in restaurants won’t be the same anymore as it was with you because of your ‘N’ number of criticism of location as well as the interior and the food itself. I cent per cent feel we became close friends due to the love for food and trying out the various dishes which are available on the menu. Right from having the crazy cheap food at Sion Koliwada to having the Mushroom Sev Puri and making a bill of **** at The Clearing House and everything in between. The only thing we need to continue is to try all the cuisine until we die. Buddy, now you need to improve your culinary skills quickly because Vichu has up his game we surely need to keep a competition who cooks better in 3 of us. For us, it will be Food ∞ Love.

Last year was the craziest time for me, after the breakup. There were many to handle me over the calls but you actually handled my tantrums in physical state and pulling me out of swampy mess I was in. You saw me doing the sh*tiest things I have ever done. Fortunately, you never saw me crying in actual. 😀

Me training you how to ride a bike and both of us ending up into skidding is a funny one. That day I got to see how one can be in shock who claims ‘I don’t carry emotions’ kinda guy. The endless scrolling on OLX just to get the best deal for laptops, mobile and what not. Approaching various sellers and also getting ourselves to screw up in the 5k scam. Damn it we need to recover it from others. 😛

I’m gonna visit your parents to eat chole bhature and also all other restaurants which we love to have food at, and send you photos while having the lovely delicacies or maybe some time give you a video call just to see your reaction. So, be ready with my endless teasing.

Last but not the least, I envy you for your matches on ****. FU for that. 🙂

So, now you have started off with a new journey of your life at Trichy. Of course, it is a proud moment for me but it is slightly an emotional moment too, you know why I will be emotional too. Please for God sake, do grab the 2nd rank.

I have always said that you taught me things about Money, Ex about Family being selfish, Vichu about Friends and Lee about not taking a step back until you win. This is what I learnt from staying in Mumbai with you all and I am thankful to all of you. And, now maybe it’s time for me to also to move on and start things which need to start.

Golden words by Rajiv P Rai: MBA krte krte Tiruchirappalli bolna seekh jaaye, wohi bohot hain! (In the course of doing MBA, if you learn how to say Triu….. should be more than enough!)

M, remember one thing no matter how much you care and respect people around you, no one will ever do the same for you except your parents.

– Dubey (Not his words, he had read it over Quora)



P.S. A friend is asking me to write in flashback form about all the domino which have fallen in last couples of years would you like to read all of them? Do let me know in the poll below.

The Hug.


Let me go easy on you, I fired you up with a kiss let me just hug you and calm down the pressure shoot on you.

A gesture well known for sharing deep care, hugs are lovely in any occasion or moment. The awesome part is you can share a hug on a festival like today Eid or share it with a group of friends ready to take down the opposite team while playing the gully cricket or by a little kid who got wounded but their mother knows to make things calm just by a hug.

We all have seen the movie named, Munnabhai M.B.B.S. and the iconic scene where the main lead hugs the sweeper when everyone messes the floor which he just cleans. Later throughout the movie, only one thing is bragged repeatedly that’s Jaddoo ki Jhappi aka Hug. In literal terms, Jhappi means a Hug but it’s said Jaddoo ki Jhappi which means a Hug of Magic. Yeah, a hug can surely do magic and be calling it a Jaddoo ki Jhappi simply makes it special for an unknown reason.

There are endless moments in my life where I have received a hug on a completely unexpected moment and not receiving one when the whole world broke down in front of me. Till date, my favourite hug will always be which I have received from two of close friends, one when he was about to leave for Canada and one when I had the tear in my eyes right after I received my degree certificate she simply hugged me. Both the hugs have been right before life took a turn parted them away from me. But above all of this, the most beautiful hugs are from my mother everytime I am about to leave for Mumbai after I stayed for a couple of days at Home being Mumma’s boy those hugs will always be the dearest ones to me.

With hugs, there is some energy which can be actually felt instantly and it can do wonders which even words can’t do the justice with because words can be faked but a genuine hug can never be faked.

A hug of fewer than six seconds or more than six seconds will always turn out to be awkward or creepy unless that person is your partner or you are simply sharing a deep connection with that person. As mentioned in Evening Standard, hugs can help us with our loneliness, heart disease, regulating response, mood boosting, and of course stress. I know many people who are not friendly or introvert and find it really awkward exactly how to approach a hug or for how long one should really hug because a quick hug doesn’t really add on any good but a six-seconds hug can surely do wonders.

So next time you have the right moment or occasion just grab the opportunity to hug the person you care for you never know it might be the last hug with that person.

A hug a day keeps the demons at bay. – German Proverb

Peace! ~ αm

Ek jaddoo ki jhappi mil sakti hai? (Can I get a Hug?)

So what’s wrong?


A couple of weeks back I shared something which I usually don’t share with anyone. Yes, anyone. And no I am not making public that thoughts and emotions of mine here today too.

Many of my friends who know me will not be able to digest the fact that I am still holding onto few pages of my life in my open book personality, and that’s the way I have handled many ins outs of my life without getting hammered by the critics of people around me.

So whats wrong in it if I am still not disclosing the pages of my life?
so when a couple of weeks, back when I showed those pages to a really close friend who I know from past nine years old I felt she will be able to grasp the actual scenario in which those good and ugly pages were written.

But boy, I was wrong about it as even she misunderstood me just like my best friend who I lost last year for related delusions. So now I am asking the reader, that if I have some good and ugly pages written in past and writing few at this current moment due to I have certain traits in my personality which are not common for general people, am I wrong to have them? Or I haven’t met someone who can match my wavelength?

Today I am not writing this to accuse two best female friends here, but I am just trying to get the gist of the good and ugly pages are part of everyone’s book of life. So for the first time, I am actually asking you, my lovely readers, to throw in some light, how one should really appreciate those pages without jumping to a wrong conclusion.

Thank you in advance.

Don’t tell someone about your good side to make them stay.

Tell them about your worst side and see who stays!

~ Anonymous

(P.S.: This is typed by a real close friend of mine as I dictated her, due to personal reasons and she has only published it on behalf of me. She stubborn not to add Feature Image for this one. Anyways, thanks V for hitting the publish button.)

Peace! ~ αm


Huh! Okay, whatever!


So yesterday I decided to give a good friend of mine the taste of her own medicine and today she feels so bad that she ended up sending me this mail. It’s really funny how people get furious when people start treating them the way they treat others.

Dear M,

See I’m not trying to rant you but, I’m just trying to show the major difference between me and everyone.
I don’t mind at all that you didn’t call back yesterday even after mentioning that you will call me in evening.

But this is the thing which makes me angry did I asked you to give hope to call me yesterday, NO! still you gave me hope you’ll call me I on purpose didn’t reply you I wanted to show why I get pissed off (PS I didn’t get pissed off yesterday, or maybe in future I won’t be angry on anyone, because I know how anyone will simply screw the hopes they give for me only)


I never asked any closed ones to give me hope by saying “I’ll do this for your birthday” “You are the most important person on earth to me” “I’ll be there for you at the mall” “Man, you are the best brother I ever got” “You are the best husband you’ll ever be” and endless such compliments and hopes which people tend to give me they are all simply words, and no actions on it! That’s where I lose my anger, I agree I’ve got anger issues at the same time my anger is genuine I feel. I feel it’s human nature too if I’m saying that “I’ll be doing XYZ for you” and if I don’t do the person whom I told this will surely fell bad about it.

Same way it happens to me people tell me endless things, the people who I value, that people words are in my heart and when that action is needed I tend to expect from them and not from the weird person I don’t like from my class to take an action on the words he once said to me.

That’s the whole deal with hopes and expectation, whatever the reason the person has when he or she does not obey that words they gave once to the closed ones, in the end, it matters who obey their very own words and not take the necessary action on it. That’s all I ask of anyone I never ask them to gift me a freaking MacBook Pro or a diamond-studded platinum ring.

Obey your own words.



P.S.: I really loved that I got a letter but a letter which is indirectly telling me that I pissed her off is simply great! Girls or ladies will never be able to see their own mistakes.

My reply to this mail was the most blunt answer ever: Huh! Okay, whatever!

I’m surely gonna get more threat mails from her in coming future. After this post going live.

Peace! ~ αm



I still remember the day I met you,
you were crying along the loneliness as the world had crashed down for you.
I knew you just needed that support to live,
and I had perception as to how can I do that for you.
Soon, you became my late night pal,
with whom I started sharing the ups and downs of my life.

The nights were quiet but we spoke along the road of life.
I remember telling you, “You are always welcomed whenever you need help.”
and you replying with the spark of an eye saying it all the trust you have is on me.
The longer we spend time together the deeper our bond became,
and there came a time when I had to leave the city but the door was still open for you always.
I moved and soon you came in, those rainy nights were making you sick and you knew the promise which I made was not a fake.

You came in, and you were welcomed with the warmest heart.
Soon you were the family member just like the others, in the days of misery and joy all was shared.
And today you are lost somewhere, unknown where and how?
But here I’m saying once again, “You are always welcomed whenever you need help.”
though this time I am selfish and asking you to come home
so I can give you a nice Jaddu ki Jhappi filled with Love.

If you can hear the scream of my heart “Please do come in, I’m waiting for you.”

Peace! ~ αm

Friends with Benefits


Well! It’s been months since the wonderful night that shocked me and ended up breaking my heart. The night where every touch of her against my skin made me aware of my sensations, desires and feelings. That night, I fell madly in love with her smile, her touch, those scary little brown eyes, her soothing embrace, Her!

In the darkness of that night, I had found my light a-a light that was supposed to enlighten my soul but instead ended up burning my heart. Somewhere between trying to shield my heart along with my self-respect from my newly found best friend, I broke into a million pieces. All that was left of me was a mess of shattered emotions.

Every moment of that night, mends my heart a little, glueing its cracks together with hope. A hope that someday in her little brown eyes it won’t be just lust but also a reflection of her love for me. A hope that even her lips will curve into a smile every time they brush against mine.

But, thinking about those scary eyes makes me shudder, bringing me back to reality. And the reality is that no matter what, neither am I ever going be held by those arms again nor will her eyes ever reflect a love for me – a love that I have always longed for.

So, that is how a night with my friend with benefits took away both, my best friend as well as the benefits that came with her.

(P.S.: This is originally written by a fellow member, Isha! A huge shout out for her for letting me post this on my blog. You can follow her here.)

Peace! ~ αm