Hide and Seek!

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Today we all have a bad habit of hiding our feelings from the people whom we are close to. This is where we start to mess things up. But this is not the only issue we all face. We hide our feelings from our close ones and yet expect them to understand us, without we telling them what is going on in our mind. I agree, but does it really work this way?

As a kid, we end up doing some things that are not to be done at that particular age, but somehow we end up doing it. Eventually, we have a bag of mixed feelings. On one hand, feeling an accomplishment that none other kid has achieved what you have. On the other, fear of not letting parents have any knowledge of our mischief. So in the fear of how our parents will react, we start hiding things from parents. To save ourselves from the scare of our parent’s reaction, we hide our joyous accomplishment. This is just one feeling, this is how and where things start to build and hiding of our emotions.

Then, as you grow, you hit puberty and start falling for that adorable girl in your class or the cute guy next door. We talk to them with butterflies in our stomach but never dare to express our feelings in the panic/hesitation of hearing a ‘No’ from that person.

Let’s jump a few years when we are reasonably adult, in our mid-20s, trying to gather all our stuff in a perfect manner in which we have secretly dreamed off. Also somehow things are working in proper synchronisation as we expected over the years but then again coming to camouflaging our feelings, the close friend for whom you had fallen for eventually and dreamt of having a life together, we do not express ourselves fearing to lose that beautiful friendship.

We don’t share the disagreement in front of our boss and be his pet to save the job and gain extra bonus at the end of the year. We start hiding our feelings to our siblings in making them happy enough while struggling with our own mess.

So, next time try to be expressive to the people you care the most for and even make them comfortable to express. Because everyone’s heart somewhere wants to sing along this music piece.

If you love me, don’t let go
If you love me, don’t let go

Hold
Hold on
Hold on to me
‘Cause I’m a little unsteady
A little unsteady

Unsteady by X Ambassadors

Peace! ~ αm

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Me and My Shadow | 4

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Previously on Me and My Shadow

The Blueprint

Maya had a handful of thoughts running in her mind with the pen drive which Tej gave her back when they had their beautiful lunch. Even though she had the pen drive with her it was kinda difficult for her to open see it as she was scared that the data in it would have meant something really different than what she was expecting.

She didn’t try taking a look at what is inside but used to just mingle around with thoughts. Many times she even plugged in but did not have gut’s open it. Maya herself was shocked by her own behaviour regarding such simple thing.

She looked at herself in the mirror decided to simply put the thoughts aside and concentrate on the thing which she wants to do in her life. She decides to give a final thought on how she will ask for the permission from her Dad regarding the factory which they owned but is currently shut down. She has few ideas which are running in for that place, she is looking forward to making it in something exclusive so that she can concentrate on the dream she is chasing for.

Maya finally gathers all the courage and leaves for her Dad’s Office. As she arrives read the huge name on entrance “Maya’s Dune Resort”. And she started to get those extra privilege services after all this resort was her own, she was the owner of this magnificent hotel. After getting into the hotel every staff member was greeting her with all the amenable gesture and finally she reaches her Dad’s office and as usual, he was busy in managing something, and why won’t be busy 31st December celebrations were on adjacent week itself.

Seeing her daughter waiting for him, he freezes all his work and calls her in. He was happy thinking that Maya was ready to join him in hotel business line but he didn’t recognise she was here to ask him something.

“Dad, I need a small favour from you?” Maya, asks him.

“Yes, tell me.” He answered.

“I know you won’t be keen what I am asking for but can you let me use our factory?”

“Umm, can I know the reason for the use?” His happiness suddenly disappears as her daughter has asked him this same question before she left the house.

“Sure Dad, and I assure this time I won’t leave the house even if you reject my proposal. I want my working space, Dad. For doing all my stuff like designing, my small research and development lab kind of thing, and need to start filling my paper works for all this work too.” Maya answered.

After a short silence between them, he finally agreed to Maya and said, “OK. You can use the factory for any use you want but assure me you won’t take any wrong step this time.”

“Dad, I’m going to fit security cameras as I’m looking for expensive equipment in R&D lab, if you want you can take a feed at your office too. It will be a bonus for the security of equipment and as well as you will be assured of actions.” Maya tried to assure her dad this time she is full of energy and at the same time isn’t looking for trouble.

“Done. I trust you my love but…” quickly replied her Dad but had a little trouble telling his views about her concern. “Yeah Dad, I know what you mean to say I’m giving you the complete picture of what I am doing, I’ve lost your trust and I’ll regain it in a rightful manner.” Maya knew what she was doing so it was easier for her to give that confidence to her Dad.

After both of them agreeing on the terms they discussed, Maya was full of joy and had decided to call up the equipment manufacturer for her little lab and headed to a furniture store and computer to get her all the things she needed. The joy of getting her dad’s approval was way too much then she had expected.

That whole day Maya was out ordering several things from her new place of work. Later at night when she came home her father saw the happiness of Maya making him realise that it was correct decision that he took for factory this time. In the following days, Maya was pretty much occupied in the setting up of the place, she wanted to start the actual work from the New Year, giving her life a new start. All this time she was having the blueprints of the work in her thoughts but now it was coming up true.

In the meanwhile Tej was not sure what was going on with Maya she was not in contact with him. Tej assumed that the project he shared was the reason behind Maya disconnection with him. It was until Tej got more upset when Maya called him up on Monday afternoon to confirm things regarding the class they were having that evening, she spoke about the class but didn’t spoke a word regarding the pen drive.

In reality, Maya had forgotten about the pen drive altogether in her own happiness. When they met before class that day Tej understood that something great has happened with Maya just by the glow on her face. Soon, Maya told Tej about all the things which happened in the last couple of days. Tej’s heart sank as Maya did not pull up the topic of his project but at the same time he was happy about the happiness of Maya.

It was just 2 days left before 31st December so Tej was occupied a lot at the hotel still Maya insisted him to come to the factory for seeing the blueprint turned into the reality of Maya’s small dream. When Tej visited the place with Maya, he no longer could control the ignorance he was having regarding the things which he had in his mind, so Tej asked her “Maya, did you go through the pen drive?” after this question Maya realised that she altogether forgot about the pen drive. She apologised for the ignorance but Tej seem to be off the mood now so he asks Maya to give back the pen drive and Tej soon leaves after collecting the pen drive.

“Tej! Tej! Stop!” yelled Maya as she saw him walk out of the factory door. “Give me the pen drive, I’ll go through it right away.”

But her requests went unheard, Tej had already left!

Maya knew that she had disappointed the only person who actually cared about her. She even knew that she really had to do something to make it up to him. New years’ eve wouldn’t be complete without him. She stood leaning on the door thinking as to what had to be done next.

She obviously wanted to know Tej’s plan but first she had to get her friend back!

Peace! ~ αm ft. @365days365stories

Me and My Shadow | 3

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Previously on Me and My Shadow

The Treat

“Mumma…” Maya called out to her mom in a melodious voice.

Maya’s mom was shocked to see her daughter smile early in the morning. It had been a pretty long time she had woken up to Maya’s smile.

“Mumma could you please make a nice masala tea”, Maya chirped as she started applying butter to her break.

Her mom quickly started preparing the tea and suddenly felt wrapped in the warmth of her daughter’s arms.

Maya was hugging her mom.

“Maya, my dear, what is the matter with you today?” Her mom asked her.

“You remember Tej? I’ll be meeting him in a while. We were even talking over the phone last night, and I’m really looking forward to spending today’s day with him. It’s been ages since I’ve felt so much at home”, said Maya as she gasped for breath. She was so excited that she even forgot to breathe.

Her mom was so happy for her but at the same time a little bit worried. Her daughter was entering unknown territories which she had no clue led to which place. *typical parents*

On the other hand, Maya was jubilant and excited. She searched her entire wardrobe and got out her most lovely dress. The black one piece that had been saving for a special occasion. That day she decided to let her hair loose and even applied some kajal in her eyes. Maya hadn’t felt so beautiful in a while, but today she was in a mood to doll up.

Maya grabbed her keys and her phone and bid farewell to her mom. She then sat in her car, put on her seat belt, turned on her phone and then called Tej.

She then sat in her car, put on her seat belt, turned on her phone and then called Tej.“Hello”, said Maya.

“Hello”, said Maya. “Hello? Have you seen the time?” came Tej’s voice from the other side. “You were supposed to pick me up at 10. It’s already 11 and to top it your phone was switched off.”

“I’m sorry, I overslept. I’ll be there in 15 mins” Maya said and hung up even before Tej could say anything.As she said, she was at his place in 15 mins, and he was waiting for her.

As she said, she was at his place in 15 mins, and he was waiting for her.

Maya had dolled up, but Tej had decided to ditch the jeans for a comfortable pair of tracks and an incredibly loose t-shirt.He sat in Maya’s car and looked at her in surprise, “Hello, madam? Are you going to some party?” asked Tej. “No. I was just feeling pretty.” Smiled Maya.

Then Maya drove him to a charming restaurant about an hour away from their home. They had never been here. He asked her as to how did she know about the place. Smiling, she said, “I had a life before we met Tej.” This restaurant was among the fancy ones. The types we go on a special occasion.

“Maya, you could have at least told me we would be coming to such a place. I would have dressed up accordingly” Tej said in a hushed voice. “Don’t worry Tej. The owner of this place is my dad friend. No formalities required. Chill.” Maya comforted him and tried to make him feel at home.They ordered lunch as per their wish. Surprisingly Maya’s and Tej’s tastes were completely different, yet they got along so well.

When the bill came, Tej leant in to grab it, but Maya was quick.“My treat!” She exclaimed. “But why? And from when did you start giving lunch treats?” Tej asked, confused. “Just. There is no compulsion that you will pay always. Let me pay today.” Maya said. Tej chose not to argue with her and let her do as she wished.

On their way back home, Maya stopped by the river that flowed through their city. “I want to look at the sunset,” Maya said.

“Okay”, Tej said. As it is today’s day was dedicated to Maya. So he thought it would be a good idea to do things that made her happy. As they sat along the banks of the river and waited for the sun to disappear over the horizon, Tej put his hand on Maya’s shoulder and again looked at her. This time Maya also looked right back into his eyes. He then put his hand in his pocket and brought out a Pen Drive.

On the pen drive was scribbled the words “Project MAYA”.

“This is my dream Maya. This is my life and only you can make it happen.” Said Tej.

“Why such a mystery Tej? Why can’t you tell me what is it about?” Maya was full of questions.

“I need you to go through each and every file in this pen drive. This, Maya, is what will turn our lives around. This is the wake-up call, and there is no better person I would want to be a part of it.” Tej said in a serious voice.

“Okay, I’ll study it. And yeah, I’ll always be there without you no matter what” Maya promised and hugged him.

Maya knew that she was right when she thought that Tej wasn’t in love with her. In fact, there was a wider picture of it. She just wasn’t able to see through it. But how could she even have, Tej has always been the mysterious kinds. What she was sure of was that now that he had opened up, her life was bound to take an entirely different course.

As the sun set, it was time for them to get home leaving the past behind while walking towards a bright future.

That night, the air in Maya’s room was filled with confidence and faith – self-confidence and trust in her best friend, Tej.

Plucky of Pesos!

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We all have played at least one Video Game in our life for fun or for killing the time. It is always a delectable time when we storm through levels and move up to the final level of the game. While storming up we get several powerups, health booster, game coins and what not, let’s call them promoters for time being. These promoters of in-game help us to complete several difficulties in the game resulting to the accomplishment of the video game.

Promoters are safeguarded as prized possessions throughout the game for the final level in the game. As the final level are the most the perplexing ones, I am not denying this fact as these promoters do certainly help us take down the final level. But till what extent are they used for the final takedown, a roughly around 25-30% and bang then we realised all those levels which we kept on repeating until we jump to higher level, would have been a lot easier if we had to use those promoters in those certain levels it would have been a lot enjoyable to see those special moves.

It is the anxiety that does not allow to use those promoters ending us with loads of them left when the game ends which are of no purpose. 

Now consider the game as our life, they are similar in many perspectives. The promoters are our wealth which we keep earning money from one way or another. We safeguard the wealth just like we safeguard the promoters in the game, but is really that foolproof to safeguard it? Till certain level yes, but at the same time as I mentioned earlier that those promoters used at certain levels would have made a more enjoyable experience. Similarly when certain things are needed to be enjoyed you have to enjoy it.

I’m not here encouraging people to not save their wealth, as many will start pointing out that this wealth is not same as the promoters in game, the wealth can be used by our children and grand-children, in short the wealth is for our families but even after saving a decent amount one should learn how to manage the wealth in order to enjoy certain stages of their life in a sublime moments of our lives.

An adept even-steven of our wealth is essential for us and future in all perspectives of our lives making a momentous living for us as well our dear ones.

Don’t save what is left after spending; spend what is left after saving. – Warren Buffett

PEACE! ~ αm

Attraction? Love? Lust?

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We all have a day or other where we will be having or have a connection with a person of the opposite sex. But what was the connection really? Of Love? Lust? Or Attraction?

ATTRACTION.

This happens to any active person at least most of the time in the day. So that awesome looking guy who has the girl’s class or on the hot girl just passed by the man who gets the woos! But sometimes this attraction is not just temporary but more intense than the usual one, where we are seeking to gain the full attention of the other one and turn our attraction into love or something more concrete. We chat, talk, and stalk to gather each and every piece of information of the person so that we succeed in every single way having the hardest battle to fight for converting that Attraction into Love. But at the same time, this could be the worst phase where we try to get the best result out of our hard work to get that particular person’s whole and sole attention and love, we may end up being into some other soup altogether and making us doubt ourselves. But this should be a good point for us that we have received a rejection but this most of the times result into sadness making it undesirable for ourselves and for any others. But many take it in a positive way and try to keep improving them continuously.

LUST.

On lust, endless words are shared, this is more sort of a feeling mixed with your physical desires but just being libidinous is not essential for an actual relationship, it’s more than that. An understanding of that particular necessity of a human being. Most of the people are really shy to open on the lust side thinking what all labels would be attached to their name because at the end of the day our name is the only thing which we care about rather our feelings. I certainly feel that one should not hide our lust but at the same time should know certain limit till one share those feelings because we are not on earth to keep screwing around people for it. Rather the impression should be made so special that one does feel completed after sharing the bodies and getting a sense of completeness altogether.

For any particular person, it should be the last piece of all the jigsaws, but I’ve beheld certain stories where this was the stage before the feeling of attraction drops, just because the situation they are fallen into and stories do have a happy ending. Yeah, this cannot actually happen to each one of us, but it does happen.

LOVE.

It’s time to drop that essential light on the road which lies between Attraction and Love. “Love at first sight” this is the worst line I’ve ever come across because it should be said “Attraction at first sight” no one can fall in love just by a single sight it requires a certain period of time after which we start loving the person. So what’s love then? It’s a mixed feeling for sure in which we are attracted to the person as well we have a different type of attraction and lust level altogether. It’s a feeling which makes smile at any given time or situation. It is just that feeling where we know “everything gonna be alright” if you think that person is there in your life. One can portrait love in continuous fashion. Certainly one can only feel it perfect as per their definition of love, but the simple definition can be applied to everyone’s definition that’s “Happiness”.

When this happiness is achieved one will be forever attracted to that person and at the same time will have great satisfaction in the lust they share for each other.

By now you must be thinking what the big picture is in all this? The answer is we all are stuck in a situation where we believe our lust is our love, we are trying to fool ourselves into thinking that the physical satisfaction we are getting is the actual definition of love which ain’t the reason of our love. Our hormonal changes lead to some different ball game altogether. We are attracted to someone and then we directly jump to a later stage of lust and think we are in love, but that isn’t true we only satisfy our physical needs rather our emotional needs, making our lives more complicated than what we really have. Giving our physical require more curb than our emotional one leads to many deteriorations in one’s life.

The frequency of the one changing partners is way too crazy nowadays making it hard for us to really understand our feelings and making every other feeling tangled into these feelings. These three emotions carry one of the feelings together along the side of it, that’s “Caring“. Caring is the supporting actor in all these three movies of our feeling. Without that care, none of the feelings can really be successful each in their own perspective.

So next time when you are attracted don’t directly jump to final need, first be attracted fall in love with person’s minutiae then complete yourselves with the lust in a genuine way rather than to show off in your fraudulent social life which just a virtual space with no base.

“Love consists of this: two solitudes that meet, protect and greet each other” – Rainer Maria Rilke

PEACE! ~ αm

Where!?

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We all go through a phase of life where we not even a kid anymore not even mature enough to take our own discussions in our life (making it a bit awful!) So what really happening with us at this point in our life? I do not know what conclusion you may have concluded to, but I feel we are just trying to flip our life downside up or rather we can say, we are trying to balance our life between the maturity and immaturity. And this is what exactly we are doing in our life we are going insanely crazy, doing everything yet doing nothing.

Yes, we are at the age of early 20s to 25s, which is the dawn of your active crazy youth and a beginning of career-oriented life and you all will agree this is the best day’s of our life and yes with few worst day’s included in our package of best days. But the drill of our life is to achieve something in our life more than regretting the things which we never achieved or we did not attempt to do it.

We all have certain goals which may be a temporary goal or one which infused in our DNA, and yes, of course, there are few people without any goals at all. And with these goals, we get an extra bonus of pressure from people around us, with their various suggestion and expectation, is this what we are really expecting from them? The answer for most of us will is an NO as we want to play the game of life with our terms and condition. The struggle is so hard in maintaining all this is high enough to break down us fairly easily, but those who manage this struggle without really breaking down are the true heroes in their own lives.

People in this age frame are doing the most of the life like falling in love, getting married, having heartbreaks, losing virginity (with any medium), getting high, crying over lonliness, enjoying a new independence, joining a new job, screwing a job and giving a long shot for a developing a business (today, we call business as Start-Ups but they will remain as Business only), seeing other chasing the dreams, seeing other living a dream which we had once, trying to save money for future and then spending off that money on emergency situation, living lavishly on months start and on financial crunch at month end, shifting to a new city or state or country. The list is never ending in every aspect.

We simply struggle to find the correct path of life just to be Happy. Is it true to be Happy? I seriously doubt this we are in a race to be better than others because right from our childhood we are just compared regarding each and every aspect whether it may be our academic score or our extracurricular activities. This attitude of being better than others is somewhere sulking down on our day to day life in an indirect way.

But all this ain’t answering where we headed to in our life. So to sum all this I would like to mention that the best answer where we should head is, chase that dream which you always wanted to live in a smart way while being crazy enough to say to your grandchild that I do not have regrets about my life.

We all want the presence of love and care in our life but we keep running behind money and satisfaction to be maintained.

Believe in a Happier Tomorrow!

PEACE! ~ αm

Early Birds vs Night Owls

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Everyone has their unique style of living and completing their work or enjoying the entertainment. The Same way we all have our own habit to stay awake at night or to wake up early and enjoy the morning. Frankly speaking, I’m both types of Person that is Morning Person as well as Night Person because I love to enjoy both Bright Sunny Day and Dark Silent Night. Both have their ups and downs, but they will be viewed by everyone’s point of view rather mine, but somewhere they agree on the downs of their choice.

The thing with morning is that they much fresher than nights. Your mind and soul are not at all tired to start some new work or complete one of your pending work. Surely for making your sleeping pattern such that you wake up early is a tedious job but surely its worth the efforts. But that early morning run which you had and then the fresh cup of coffee with some lip-smacking sandwich, the man then can surely make your day.

And similarly with the night the pitch black silence is useful for concentrating over an unfinished job but it does affect your sleeping pattern and over a period of time it gives one or the other health issues which no one really wants it. But while staring at the moon you surely can miss someone special, call them up and have a conversation with them while both looking at the moon (your personal own virtual video calling) can be one of your splendid romantic night you spend with some distance between you two.

But between with this two, the connecting element is here the sleep which is needed the most the most to any person as it’s the to time charge up yourself for next activity. The change in the sleep pattern can actually you affect too much which you may not even give a thought also to it. As I mentioned early it affects your health but it also affects your behavioural pattern or in the words, you will have more moods swings than you used in your normal days.

So my suggestion will be pin point, enjoy both the habits but also make sure you have a sound sleep to have healthy future. It takes a lot to keep yourself healthy and the way to be healthy is sleep and enjoy yourself the Energetic Morning and Classy Nights.

PEACE! ~ αm