Friends with Benefits

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Well! It’s been months since the wonderful night that shocked me and ended up breaking my heart. The night where every touch of her against my skin made me aware of my sensations, desires and feelings. That night, I fell madly in love with her smile, her touch, those scary little brown eyes, her soothing embrace, Her!

In the darkness of that night, I had found my light a-a light that was supposed to enlighten my soul but instead ended up burning my heart. Somewhere between trying to shield my heart along with my self-respect from my newly found best friend, I broke into a million pieces. All that was left of me was a mess of shattered emotions.

Every moment of that night, mends my heart a little, glueing its cracks together with hope. A hope that someday in her little brown eyes it won’t be just lust but also a reflection of her love for me. A hope that even her lips will curve into a smile every time they brush against mine.

But, thinking about those scary eyes makes me shudder, bringing me back to reality. And the reality is that no matter what, neither am I ever going be held by those arms again nor will her eyes ever reflect a love for me – a love that I have always longed for.

So, that is how a night with my friend with benefits took away both, my best friend as well as the benefits that came with her.

(P.S.: This is originally written by a fellow member, Isha! A huge shout out for her for letting me post this on my blog. You can follow her here.)

Peace! ~ αm

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Me and My Shadow | 3

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Previously on Me and My Shadow

The Treat

“Mumma…” Maya called out to her mom in a melodious voice.

Maya’s mom was shocked to see her daughter smile early in the morning. It had been a pretty long time she had woken up to Maya’s smile.

“Mumma could you please make a nice masala tea”, Maya chirped as she started applying butter to her break.

Her mom quickly started preparing the tea and suddenly felt wrapped in the warmth of her daughter’s arms.

Maya was hugging her mom.

“Maya, my dear, what is the matter with you today?” Her mom asked her.

“You remember Tej? I’ll be meeting him in a while. We were even talking over the phone last night, and I’m really looking forward to spending today’s day with him. It’s been ages since I’ve felt so much at home”, said Maya as she gasped for breath. She was so excited that she even forgot to breathe.

Her mom was so happy for her but at the same time a little bit worried. Her daughter was entering unknown territories which she had no clue led to which place. *typical parents*

On the other hand, Maya was jubilant and excited. She searched her entire wardrobe and got out her most lovely dress. The black one piece that had been saving for a special occasion. That day she decided to let her hair loose and even applied some kajal in her eyes. Maya hadn’t felt so beautiful in a while, but today she was in a mood to doll up.

Maya grabbed her keys and her phone and bid farewell to her mom. She then sat in her car, put on her seat belt, turned on her phone and then called Tej.

She then sat in her car, put on her seat belt, turned on her phone and then called Tej.“Hello”, said Maya.

“Hello”, said Maya. “Hello? Have you seen the time?” came Tej’s voice from the other side. “You were supposed to pick me up at 10. It’s already 11 and to top it your phone was switched off.”

“I’m sorry, I overslept. I’ll be there in 15 mins” Maya said and hung up even before Tej could say anything.As she said, she was at his place in 15 mins, and he was waiting for her.

As she said, she was at his place in 15 mins, and he was waiting for her.

Maya had dolled up, but Tej had decided to ditch the jeans for a comfortable pair of tracks and an incredibly loose t-shirt.He sat in Maya’s car and looked at her in surprise, “Hello, madam? Are you going to some party?” asked Tej. “No. I was just feeling pretty.” Smiled Maya.

Then Maya drove him to a charming restaurant about an hour away from their home. They had never been here. He asked her as to how did she know about the place. Smiling, she said, “I had a life before we met Tej.” This restaurant was among the fancy ones. The types we go on a special occasion.

“Maya, you could have at least told me we would be coming to such a place. I would have dressed up accordingly” Tej said in a hushed voice. “Don’t worry Tej. The owner of this place is my dad friend. No formalities required. Chill.” Maya comforted him and tried to make him feel at home.They ordered lunch as per their wish. Surprisingly Maya’s and Tej’s tastes were completely different, yet they got along so well.

When the bill came, Tej leant in to grab it, but Maya was quick.“My treat!” She exclaimed. “But why? And from when did you start giving lunch treats?” Tej asked, confused. “Just. There is no compulsion that you will pay always. Let me pay today.” Maya said. Tej chose not to argue with her and let her do as she wished.

On their way back home, Maya stopped by the river that flowed through their city. “I want to look at the sunset,” Maya said.

“Okay”, Tej said. As it is today’s day was dedicated to Maya. So he thought it would be a good idea to do things that made her happy. As they sat along the banks of the river and waited for the sun to disappear over the horizon, Tej put his hand on Maya’s shoulder and again looked at her. This time Maya also looked right back into his eyes. He then put his hand in his pocket and brought out a Pen Drive.

On the pen drive was scribbled the words “Project MAYA”.

“This is my dream Maya. This is my life and only you can make it happen.” Said Tej.

“Why such a mystery Tej? Why can’t you tell me what is it about?” Maya was full of questions.

“I need you to go through each and every file in this pen drive. This, Maya, is what will turn our lives around. This is the wake-up call, and there is no better person I would want to be a part of it.” Tej said in a serious voice.

“Okay, I’ll study it. And yeah, I’ll always be there without you no matter what” Maya promised and hugged him.

Maya knew that she was right when she thought that Tej wasn’t in love with her. In fact, there was a wider picture of it. She just wasn’t able to see through it. But how could she even have, Tej has always been the mysterious kinds. What she was sure of was that now that he had opened up, her life was bound to take an entirely different course.

As the sun set, it was time for them to get home leaving the past behind while walking towards a bright future.

That night, the air in Maya’s room was filled with confidence and faith – self-confidence and trust in her best friend, Tej.

Rape!

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Yesterday, as usual, I was chatting with one of my friend, and I came to know the worst part of her life but I am in a dicey situation should I make it public or not as it is not something most of us are not comfortable to speak out and such things are kept secret only not because the image of the person is being spoiled in disclosing about the thing but there are other parameters which make them quite, sometimes it’s a shame and sometimes it’s just excuse. But I am really angry and ashamed that person with whom the situation happened did not speak up about the situation as it situation took place at her best friend’s party at the host place itself. P.S.: Fortunately it was not rape but an unacceptable behaviour.

Many of us now very much familiar with word “RAPE” and the ill effects of the same but what do we do when you come across the word in our day to day life, we ignore it. Yes, IGNORE it because that’s what we do until the things are not happening in our life we ignore it!

Yes, even I used to ignore it, and you can say the story of yesterday triggered my anger just like everyone else’s anger would have triggered after their closed one’s incidence is brought to light. The part I am regretting right now is why I am publishing this half draft after I am angry over the situation now, I should have done long before from when I realised the sensitivity of the situation and the outcomes from them.

There are several girls around the world who can not speak even after knowing the things are worst even then they keep mouth shut, and this is what irritates me. Rather keeping quite over the problems they are not ignoring the situation they are actually indirectly supporting the act of foolish people which leads to other outcomes which are not really great.

Many societies will blame women’s improper behaviour or clothing sense but even guys are at the same level of fault which leads to the whole goof that’s rape or unacceptable behaviour. But where we all heading to in blaming each other, back to square one. We are not going ahead or getting directed to a proper path.

We all are educated enough to know to stay in our limits and behave in a way which does not wreck the life of others, but still for our personal needs are to be forced upon others to be fulfilled, that is actually crazy.

Why can not a woman speak up? Why can not a man control the sexual urge? Why something devastating has to take place for some extreme decisions to be taken in action? If these extreme decisions are taken place then why one of the people start misusing the decision? There are so many questions which I am still trying to figure out.

I will be waiting for the day where I do not get an news of Rape being published or a act which is taking place on our loved ones so we take up an action.

PEACE! ~ αm