Desperate?

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So today morning I was at a Medical Store for buying medicine for usual cold, and the next thing which happened didn’t shake me but surely made me raise the question on the current generation. The incident was, a girl in her sweet sixteen comes up and ask for a contraceptive pill. Have we become desperate enough that we are exploring sex as if it is just a casual thing?

The next thing I know I got the flashback of when I first kissed a girl. The first question that struck my mind was, what age I was when I had my first kiss? It was in my early 22s, surely it was a special girl but the thing was we both were mature enough of what we are doing. I am not trying to say I’m some saint who did things on right time. But surely trying out things with someone at a really early age and taking contraceptive pills in early age will bring issues in the later stage of the life when you’ll be really seeking to conceive a child (which is the best feeling you may surely have).

Roam around the lover spots in your city and you’ll find at least 25% couple who are physically involved with each other in public. That’s completely fine to show love to that special one but we should know when and where we are doing so, there’s nothing wrong with showing affection to someone we know in front of other people but at the same time we should realise in what mindset of people we are in, are they open minded than cheap thinking people who may just pass a comment like “Wow, great live show! No need to watch porn tonight.” (I’ve actually heard this line getting used for a couple while I was movie theatre with my friends)

A decade before, couples were really shy to holds hands in public and now we are on edge of making love in public, sorry I said making love, rather I should say having sex. Now with an eye towards the western world approach we’ve started taking things in a lighter way. One of the example which strike while writing so is that due to the climatic condition in the west women wears a bikini for so-called Sunbath. Whereas we do not need such a trend because it’s warmer here. But we fail to recognize this reality and think that we’re being oppressed when not being supported.

One thing is for sure we all have surely lost of making moments special because we are seeking sexual pleasure rather than seeking gala moment just at the fitting time. Anytime someone tries to seek advice from me over the topic of sex only speech gets played in my mind from a very infamous movie, 17 Again. 

That tiny speech is “No. No. You know what? He’s right. He’s right. I don’t need one. You know why? You know why I don’t need one? Because there’s no one I’m in love with. It’s called ‘making love’ isn’t it? Maybe I’m old-fashioned, but I think that means you do it with someone you love… and preferably when you’re married. You know? When you’re ready to take that love and turn it into a baby.Because that’s what love is. It’s that first moment when you hold your baby girl and you didn’t know that anything could be so small or so delicate and you feel that tiny heartbeat and you know that you couldn’t love anything more in the whole world. And you hope that you can do right by that little girl and always be there to catch her when she falls and that nothing ever hurts her. Not a broken arm, or a bad dream, or a broken heart.” (Full Script / Youtube Clip)

I’d a friend who was just in a relationship so that he can sleep with the girl every now and then, I spoke to him once what exactly are you trying to seek with this kinda relation, he simply answered it is better to be a sex addict than being a drug addict. That answer of his shook me, not because he felt sex is better than drug but he felt sex should be an addiction which he should enjoy on regular basis.

There are many such incidences which I’ve heard from girls and guys while growing up and their perspective on what sex is for them, and every time I come across the views it makes me think only one thing. Have we become so desperate for sex?

What are we actually doing? Does anyone know?

“I guess it’s exercise, healthy diet, lots of water, lots of laughter, lots of sex — yes, sex, we need that as human beings. It’s healthy, it’s natural, it’s what we are here to do.” – Cameron Diaz

Peace! ~ αm

 

 

Imperfectn!

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Perfection? We all seek the perfection in everything, the things we buy, the things we fall in love with, the person who wants to be a part of life nearly everything. But are we ourselves perfect?

Before answering yes, let’s go through few points.

When was the last time you brought a flawless product let it be anything? I doubt that has happened anytime soon with anyone. So considering that we cross out the products perfection from this piece of the article altogether, maybe we shed some light on it someday later.

Let talk about humans, uh huh?

I am ready to take an open challenge for anyone who claims to be Mr or Ms Or Mrs Perfect, to prove them they aren’t one and frankly, no one needs to be completely perfect. We are imperfect for a specific reason and that is because the person with whom you will probably share your life has all the things perfect which you are imperfect at.

Let’s take one of my close friends examples, he is one the biggest nerd who is crazy about food and money, for most of the part he perfect for selection of food stuff but when it comes to financing man he is damn perfect about his level, I won’t say, he’s a  financial genius but he is perfect but he is damn imperfect when it comes to care for someone or have proper genuine feelings for a human being, man it is a big no-no when it comes to making a bond with girls especially. His response to this will be lame, if you have money you’ll get a girl, I agree he will surely get some hot lady but that person will be a gold digger (Gold Digger are people who make a relationship with anyone just for the sake of money). Initially when I was worried about this behaviour of his I tried to make him understand, manipulated him and what not but now I don’t take that initiative not because I’ve given up on him it is because I have learned the cycle of life, that one day the lady who will become in life which will be his forever will be perfect in that parameter of life. She will teach him how to be perfect with emotions.

Let’s take a plot summary from a movie, The Matchbreaker.

The guy who falls for a girl in high school ends up being in love her for the whole time, so whenever he gets into the relationship he ends up breaking them by giving 7 specific justification why the girl isn’t perfect. Later when the love of her life returns back into the town he comes across and a new bond develops between them eventually both falling for each other until one day he realises that she isn’t the perfect girl he pictured all the time she is one hell of a messy girl while organising thing at her home sweet home. This flaw starts disturbing him, but eventually, he learns that no one is perfect in this world, so he stays stuck to the fact she is the perfect one for him.

And yes, even I’m not perfect at all, for instance, I can tell areas where I’m the worst, that’s managing or organising things, I love things organised but for me, it is really hard to keep up with an organised place. There are few more things where I have tried my hand to be nearly as perfect but now I don’t even wanna be close to it, I just want to take that part be learned about it but do not want to be perfect about it.

I’m not at all trying to picture that the person who will be stuck with you for the rest of the life, just throw your imperfect responsibilities on them and leave it altogether rather you’ll learn about your flaw from someone which will actually make a difference in your life. And never ever be perfect in that thing because what’s your better half for then?

“Too late, I found you can’t wait to become perfect, you got to go out and fall down and get up with everybody else.”
― Ray Bradbury, Something Wicked This Way Comes

Peace! ~ αm

Hide and Seek!

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Today we all have a bad habit of hiding our feelings from the people whom we are close to. This is where we start to mess things up. But this is not the only issue we all face. We hide our feelings from our close ones and yet expect them to understand us, without we telling them what is going on in our mind. I agree, but does it really work this way?

As a kid, we end up doing some things that are not to be done at that particular age, but somehow we end up doing it. Eventually, we have a bag of mixed feelings. On one hand, feeling an accomplishment that none other kid has achieved what you have. On the other, fear of not letting parents have any knowledge of our mischief. So in the fear of how our parents will react, we start hiding things from parents. To save ourselves from the scare of our parent’s reaction, we hide our joyous accomplishment. This is just one feeling, this is how and where things start to build and hiding of our emotions.

Then, as you grow, you hit puberty and start falling for that adorable girl in your class or the cute guy next door. We talk to them with butterflies in our stomach but never dare to express our feelings in the panic/hesitation of hearing a ‘No’ from that person.

Let’s jump a few years when we are reasonably adult, in our mid-20s, trying to gather all our stuff in a perfect manner in which we have secretly dreamed off. Also somehow things are working in proper synchronisation as we expected over the years but then again coming to camouflaging our feelings, the close friend for whom you had fallen for eventually and dreamt of having a life together, we do not express ourselves fearing to lose that beautiful friendship.

We don’t share the disagreement in front of our boss and be his pet to save the job and gain extra bonus at the end of the year. We start hiding our feelings to our siblings in making them happy enough while struggling with our own mess.

So, next time try to be expressive to the people you care the most for and even make them comfortable to express. Because everyone’s heart somewhere wants to sing along this music piece.

If you love me, don’t let go
If you love me, don’t let go

Hold
Hold on
Hold on to me
‘Cause I’m a little unsteady
A little unsteady

Unsteady by X Ambassadors

Peace! ~ αm

Lies!

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We all lie one way or other every single day. Either we lie to someone dear or we lie to someone in our professional life or we lie to ourselves, but there isn’t a single day where a normal human being won’t lie.

We all lie due to some or the other reason. Right from childhood, we started lying, for instance; when we failed to complete our homework, we lied that we forgot to bring our notebook. Even our parents lied to us while bribing us to complete a house chore or to complete our studies. (I’m not saying they bribed always with lies many times they completed those bribes too but still). When we grew up we started lying at home, college about our academics, friends, outings and what not. The frequency of lying surge as we grow older, to hide one truth we end up saying more and more lies.

Before you start banging your head trying to know what am I really trying to address in here, I will come to point but just before that I would like to ask you a question.

Are you biased when your lie is for protecting the main cause of your own and when others lie on similar grounds we end up being offended?

If your answer is yes, it is completely Okay to behave in this manner as we are human beings. We’re selfish and to some extent being selfish is perfectly fine. The place where we are living we only receive genuine care from our parents because we are their kid (this line was shared my a close friend of mine), except than that the person who has given you the actual feeling of a parent can only give you those genuine care without being selfish. But still, we all will keep on lying to our kids or to whom we treat them as our kid.

We all know, what goes around comes back around, so if we eventually lie all the time we can not expect the person will shower up with all the truth.

Ask yourself once should we really get disturbed by a lie which has been revealed later with the truth? Today, I have an answer for this. We should not be disturbed for our whole life because we are all human beings and we all lie to each other just to keep a trust with our closed ones and later reveal it just because we need to take off the burden of lying in the first place and this only happens with the people with whom we have that beautiful connection. Surely we all should get disturbed with lies but also accept them at the level at which we got disturbed with the fact as one day you’ll be on the same stage where you placed the opposite person.

This is a life friend, and it is only when we realise it’s completely natural and genuine that the person who lied to us did so for the benefit of both. As once said, saying a single lie said for a genuine purpose is better than saying thousands of truth. So, do lie but make sure you are able to freely express the truth for whom you care and they can really understand the situation in which you had lied.

We all end up lying just to hide our actual feelings, thinking the truth will be a disaster for them. But learn to accept the lies and forgive them and tell the truth which you have lied about at the correct time.

There is quote, Hurt me with the truth but never comfort me with a Lie. I would like to rearrange them in more effective manner.

Hurt me with the Truth only when I am in a state of mind to accept it, as you are comforting me for my own good.

Peace! ~ αm

Plucky of Pesos!

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We all have played at least one Video Game in our life for fun or for killing the time. It is always a delectable time when we storm through levels and move up to the final level of the game. While storming up we get several powerups, health booster, game coins and what not, let’s call them promoters for time being. These promoters of in-game help us to complete several difficulties in the game resulting to the accomplishment of the video game.

Promoters are safeguarded as prized possessions throughout the game for the final level in the game. As the final level are the most the perplexing ones, I am not denying this fact as these promoters do certainly help us take down the final level. But till what extent are they used for the final takedown, a roughly around 25-30% and bang then we realised all those levels which we kept on repeating until we jump to higher level, would have been a lot easier if we had to use those promoters in those certain levels it would have been a lot enjoyable to see those special moves.

It is the anxiety that does not allow to use those promoters ending us with loads of them left when the game ends which are of no purpose. 

Now consider the game as our life, they are similar in many perspectives. The promoters are our wealth which we keep earning money from one way or another. We safeguard the wealth just like we safeguard the promoters in the game, but is really that foolproof to safeguard it? Till certain level yes, but at the same time as I mentioned earlier that those promoters used at certain levels would have made a more enjoyable experience. Similarly when certain things are needed to be enjoyed you have to enjoy it.

I’m not here encouraging people to not save their wealth, as many will start pointing out that this wealth is not same as the promoters in game, the wealth can be used by our children and grand-children, in short the wealth is for our families but even after saving a decent amount one should learn how to manage the wealth in order to enjoy certain stages of their life in a sublime moments of our lives.

An adept even-steven of our wealth is essential for us and future in all perspectives of our lives making a momentous living for us as well our dear ones.

Don’t save what is left after spending; spend what is left after saving. – Warren Buffett

PEACE! ~ αm

Attraction? Love? Lust?

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We all have a day or other where we will be having or have a connection with a person of the opposite sex. But what was the connection really? Of Love? Lust? Or Attraction?

ATTRACTION.

This happens to any active person at least most of the time in the day. So that awesome looking guy who has the girl’s class or on the hot girl just passed by the man who gets the woos! But sometimes this attraction is not just temporary but more intense than the usual one, where we are seeking to gain the full attention of the other one and turn our attraction into love or something more concrete. We chat, talk, and stalk to gather each and every piece of information of the person so that we succeed in every single way having the hardest battle to fight for converting that Attraction into Love. But at the same time, this could be the worst phase where we try to get the best result out of our hard work to get that particular person’s whole and sole attention and love, we may end up being into some other soup altogether and making us doubt ourselves. But this should be a good point for us that we have received a rejection but this most of the times result into sadness making it undesirable for ourselves and for any others. But many take it in a positive way and try to keep improving them continuously.

LUST.

On lust, endless words are shared, this is more sort of a feeling mixed with your physical desires but just being libidinous is not essential for an actual relationship, it’s more than that. An understanding of that particular necessity of a human being. Most of the people are really shy to open on the lust side thinking what all labels would be attached to their name because at the end of the day our name is the only thing which we care about rather our feelings. I certainly feel that one should not hide our lust but at the same time should know certain limit till one share those feelings because we are not on earth to keep screwing around people for it. Rather the impression should be made so special that one does feel completed after sharing the bodies and getting a sense of completeness altogether.

For any particular person, it should be the last piece of all the jigsaws, but I’ve beheld certain stories where this was the stage before the feeling of attraction drops, just because the situation they are fallen into and stories do have a happy ending. Yeah, this cannot actually happen to each one of us, but it does happen.

LOVE.

It’s time to drop that essential light on the road which lies between Attraction and Love. “Love at first sight” this is the worst line I’ve ever come across because it should be said “Attraction at first sight” no one can fall in love just by a single sight it requires a certain period of time after which we start loving the person. So what’s love then? It’s a mixed feeling for sure in which we are attracted to the person as well we have a different type of attraction and lust level altogether. It’s a feeling which makes smile at any given time or situation. It is just that feeling where we know “everything gonna be alright” if you think that person is there in your life. One can portrait love in continuous fashion. Certainly one can only feel it perfect as per their definition of love, but the simple definition can be applied to everyone’s definition that’s “Happiness”.

When this happiness is achieved one will be forever attracted to that person and at the same time will have great satisfaction in the lust they share for each other.

By now you must be thinking what the big picture is in all this? The answer is we all are stuck in a situation where we believe our lust is our love, we are trying to fool ourselves into thinking that the physical satisfaction we are getting is the actual definition of love which ain’t the reason of our love. Our hormonal changes lead to some different ball game altogether. We are attracted to someone and then we directly jump to a later stage of lust and think we are in love, but that isn’t true we only satisfy our physical needs rather our emotional needs, making our lives more complicated than what we really have. Giving our physical require more curb than our emotional one leads to many deteriorations in one’s life.

The frequency of the one changing partners is way too crazy nowadays making it hard for us to really understand our feelings and making every other feeling tangled into these feelings. These three emotions carry one of the feelings together along the side of it, that’s “Caring“. Caring is the supporting actor in all these three movies of our feeling. Without that care, none of the feelings can really be successful each in their own perspective.

So next time when you are attracted don’t directly jump to final need, first be attracted fall in love with person’s minutiae then complete yourselves with the lust in a genuine way rather than to show off in your fraudulent social life which just a virtual space with no base.

“Love consists of this: two solitudes that meet, protect and greet each other” – Rainer Maria Rilke

PEACE! ~ αm

Where!?

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We all go through a phase of life where we not even a kid anymore not even mature enough to take our own discussions in our life (making it a bit awful!) So what really happening with us at this point in our life? I do not know what conclusion you may have concluded to, but I feel we are just trying to flip our life downside up or rather we can say, we are trying to balance our life between the maturity and immaturity. And this is what exactly we are doing in our life we are going insanely crazy, doing everything yet doing nothing.

Yes, we are at the age of early 20s to 25s, which is the dawn of your active crazy youth and a beginning of career-oriented life and you all will agree this is the best day’s of our life and yes with few worst day’s included in our package of best days. But the drill of our life is to achieve something in our life more than regretting the things which we never achieved or we did not attempt to do it.

We all have certain goals which may be a temporary goal or one which infused in our DNA, and yes, of course, there are few people without any goals at all. And with these goals, we get an extra bonus of pressure from people around us, with their various suggestion and expectation, is this what we are really expecting from them? The answer for most of us will is an NO as we want to play the game of life with our terms and condition. The struggle is so hard in maintaining all this is high enough to break down us fairly easily, but those who manage this struggle without really breaking down are the true heroes in their own lives.

People in this age frame are doing the most of the life like falling in love, getting married, having heartbreaks, losing virginity (with any medium), getting high, crying over lonliness, enjoying a new independence, joining a new job, screwing a job and giving a long shot for a developing a business (today, we call business as Start-Ups but they will remain as Business only), seeing other chasing the dreams, seeing other living a dream which we had once, trying to save money for future and then spending off that money on emergency situation, living lavishly on months start and on financial crunch at month end, shifting to a new city or state or country. The list is never ending in every aspect.

We simply struggle to find the correct path of life just to be Happy. Is it true to be Happy? I seriously doubt this we are in a race to be better than others because right from our childhood we are just compared regarding each and every aspect whether it may be our academic score or our extracurricular activities. This attitude of being better than others is somewhere sulking down on our day to day life in an indirect way.

But all this ain’t answering where we headed to in our life. So to sum all this I would like to mention that the best answer where we should head is, chase that dream which you always wanted to live in a smart way while being crazy enough to say to your grandchild that I do not have regrets about my life.

We all want the presence of love and care in our life but we keep running behind money and satisfaction to be maintained.

Believe in a Happier Tomorrow!

PEACE! ~ αm